accidental existence

Life, one sentence at a time

“…in the mood to lose my way with words…” June 14, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 4:26 pm

Blogs are a funny thing.
I haven’t posted on this one since 2014.
Did anybody miss it?
Probably not.
Did I notice?
Not until today.
Though, truth be told, I was surprised it had been that long.

Three years later and what’s changed?
I’m three years older.

It’s summer time in the Ozarks.
I can gauge the humidity by how many ringlets my curls have formed.
It’s pretty damn humid today.

I finally joined the current century—I started using a digital calendar.
Despite everything in my life branded with an Apple logo, I’ve resisted.
I like my paper desktop calendar.
I’ve not completely abandoned it yet.
Let me just say, damn digital is handy.
It took a bit to get it all in there, but now it’s synced up to everything I own.
I enter an event on my work computer.
I can see it on my phone.
My watches notifies me when it’s time to leave.

It’s also overwhelming.

My life is so scheduled, yet I feel like I do nothing.
Interviews in purple.
Home life in blue.
Letterman family social calendar in red.
Blue haircut at 4 p.m.
If I wanted to stop and smell the roses, I have time next Friday.
I’ll mark it red, so Adam can enjoy them, too.

I just finished rewatching Grey’s Anatomy.

Adam and I currently are watching The Office.
No, I’ve never seen it before.
Yes, it’s shocking.
Yes, it was a national tragedy.
Yes, I openly love Jim Halpert.

I have avocado toast for lunch.
I don’t care what baby boomers say, it was delicious and worth every penny.

Adam is grilling pork chops for dinner.

Speaking of national tragedy.
It’s hard to read the news some days.
And I’m a damn journalist.
There were two mass shootings today.
Last week commander Cheeto backed out of the Paris climate deal.
That’s depressing.

People aren’t nice anymore.

I fell at the movie theater last weekend.
We were seeing Wonder Woman.
Sidenote: Amazing.
There was a ledge for the recliners.
It was dark.
Popcorn went everywhere.
The 32 ounce root beer went even further.
I skinned my knee.
But it’s the bruises I wasn’t prepared for.
My forearm hit the ground.
It’s now hard to type.
My thigh.
My side.
If you think it sounds pretty awful, you’re right.
I am not Wonder Woman.

It’s summer time in the Ozarks and it’s currently 90 degrees.
I hate it.

We might have to turn on the A/C at home soon.
The combination of rock walls, trees and lots of windows keep us decently cool into June.
But it’s starting to test me at night.

Sometimes, I sleep with ear plugs because the birds are too loud.
Windows open and all.
But only from the hours of 5 a.m. to 6 a.m.

Chuck threw up last night.
It was gross.

I’m hot right now.

We should go to the lake.


Still not as cute as Jim.



2014 in review December 29, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 5:00 pm

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 480 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 8 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.


“…I refuse to believe, that my life’s gonna be, just some string of incompletes…” December 22, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 4:57 pm

According to my TimeHop, I wrote a blog on this day last year.
Seems appropriate I do the same this year.
Next year’s TimeHop will be a blog vortex of thought.

Newsflash: It’s two days until Christmas.
I’ve got just one gift left to buy.
I’m not happy about it.
I don’ think I’ve ever had a gift to buy this late in the game.
I just don’t have any good ideas.
Spent most of the day Saturday wandering stores.
We even ventured into the mall
I think I’ve finally got an idea, now, to just execute.
At at store which closes by 5:30 each day.

Sunday was holiday baking day.
One of the best days of the year.
Double-chocolate cracked cookies, fudge and Oreo truffle balls were on the agenda.
I snuck in some chocolate chip cookies last week.
I was on a sugar high.
You know you have to taste these things as you go.
Make sure everything is good.
If you happen to eat a couple warm cookies right out of the oven, that’s the price of doing business, right?

It’s the weird week in the office when we don’t have an issue.
Sent the last issue of the year to press last week.
It’s nice.
The office is practically empty.
I need to remember to schedule more vacation time around the holidays next year.

There are so many Christmas cards on the front counter you can’t see the laminate anymore.
People really love SBJ.

Speaking of treats.
They’ve been rolling in the office non-stop since Thanksgiving.
No wonder so many people make diet resolutions come the 1st.

Present wrapping on tonight’s agenda.
I just love it.
The ribbon.
The bows.
The glitter paper.
It makes my heart smile.

I need some coffee.
When are we getting that office Keurig again?

The grommet on my favorite black coat came loose this morning.
Noticed it right as I sat down for an interview.
I was so worried, it threw me off my game for the first few questions.
I’ve had that coat at least 4 years.
I love it.
I hope the seamstress can fix it.

Big changes are coming in 2015 for my little family.
I’m nervous.
I’m thrilled.
I’m anxious.
Adam is getting an ulcer.

Good response to this year’s #catshaming Christmas card.
Everyone loves a furbaby in a elf hat.

Speaking of furbabies, bought Danny a tie-dye shirt for Christmas the other day.
He’s gonna be adorable.

My radio is on non-stop Christmas music.
John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas” came on the other day.
“So this is Christmas, and what have you done, another year older and a new one’s just begun..”
Though I’ve heard it a thousand times, it made me cry.
What have I done this year?
I’ve worked a lot.
I took a bunch of road trips with my husband.
What have I contributed to our society?
I’m gonna work on that this year.

I love my KitchenAid stand mixer.

Just one more day, just one more day.
That’s my mantra right now.
Just one more day until a 5 day weekend.
This morning it was , just two more days, just two more days…

It was Christmas card/truffle day at work.
I love making others smile.
Also, chocolate.

Real or not real?

Last Christmas, Adam gave me 52 foot massage coupons.
One a week for a year.
I’ve only used like 20.
They expire Dec. 25.
I’ve had a foot massage everyday for the past week.
I think Adam hates life.
Barging has begun.

The Christmas lights are on 24/7 now.
We are in the home stretch.
In the early weeks, we turn them off at night to save electricity.
It’s full tilt electric cheer from here on out.

I’m ready for 24 hours of A Christmas Story.
“My dad worked in profanity the same way other artists worked in oils or clay.”
“The warm glow of electric sex illuminated in the window.”
“Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.”
Damn, I LOVE that movie.

All three of my calendars are lined out for the upcoming year.
My life is chaos contained in deadline.

It’s time to end.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

How excited am I for Christmas? About this excited.

How excited am I for Christmas? About this excited.


“…no, it won’t all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good…” October 16, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 1:16 pm

Today is slow in the office.
Both and good and bad.
Yesterday was crazy pants.
We put out a section of the regular paper and a nearly 60-page book.
I’m OK with today being a bit slower.
At the same time I want it to go by fast.
I want to go home to my husband.

I miss him.
We barely saw each other last night or this morning.
It may sound cheesy, but he really is my best friend.
I want to spend all my time with him.

Pets and Pumpkins is this weekend.
I thought it was at the end of the month.
Sorry Dan, mom doesn’t have time to hand-sew a super cute costume this year.
The Chia Pug idea goes back on the shelf.
PetsMart leftovers it is.

Contemplating hitting the MSU homecoming parade Saturday morning.
I used to love going each year.
It’s so early in the morning.
I might decide sleep is better come Saturday.

Speaking of Adam, he’s currently eating at the Food Truck Park for the second day without me.
Smokin’ Bob’s BBQ lunch special.
I’m jelly.
He eats there so much he had a punch card now.

This October has flown by.
I celebrate my two year at SBJ tomorrow.
This whole year has flown by really.

Prepping the house for the market.
Paint my front door and installed a new storm door.
Still so much to do.
I think a new kitchen sink is next.

I’m headed to Ozark this afternoon.
My former editor is retiring after 15 year at the Headliner News.
Couldn’t let her go without a hug.

Very hungry for lunch.
However, since I’m incorporating a drive to Ozark in the plan, I fear its drive-thru something for me.

It’s Casual for Kids week in the office.
Donated $20 to Children’s Miracle Network, get to wear just for a week.
Best donation ever.
Plus the company matches it.
So its win, win.

There are currently four half-empty water bottles on my desk.

I’m considering incorporating vegetarian habits into my diet.
I think it would be good for me.
I can’t give up meat.
I love the Full Ride burger from Grad School too much.
But I think I can make healthier choices.

I’m so happy fall is here.
I’ve missed my cardi collection.

The Japanese stroll garden is having a romantic moonlight walk Saturday.
That could be on the weekend agenda.

Scorpion is my favorite new show.
It reminds me of Alphas on SyFy.
And that book with those Ivy League kids who beat Vegas.
Which for the life of me I can’t remember the title of right now.
Google was no help.

Got a new Mac mini at work.
iOS 10.9 is amazing.
Especially considering I have 10.6 before this.
Ready for a new desktop at home now.
That’s a Christmas money project.

I haven’t posted in so long WordPress look different.
I’m not sure I like it.

The holiday season is upon up.
I just wrote a brief about Macy’s Black Friday hours.
I know Adam is looking forward to the glory of #BlackFriday again this year.

Waiting on people to call me back.
I think that’s half the life of a reporter.
The other half is furiously writing on deadline because it took so long for people to call back.

An editing project has come my way.
Thus ends this blog post.

This could have been you Dan. I'm sorry I failed you.

This could have been you Dan. I’m sorry I failed you.


“…Even if your hands are shakin’, and your faith is broken…say what you need to say…” July 7, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 4:15 pm

What a long, strange week it’s been.

Having a family member in the hospital is horrid.
I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
The uncertainty is crippling.
Sitting in the ICU waiting room not knowing.

Lots of coffee.
Lots of dice games.

She is now on the road to recovery.
All medicine is working.
Hope is in the air.

Today is day 8 of daily trips to the hospital.
Sometimes multiple daily trips.
Sometimes we never left.

All of that is compounded with the holiday weekend.
That made for a short week at work.
Compound that again with a double section week caused by a special section this week.


But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I can see it.
It grows with each passing day.

Having a loved one in the hospital really made me realize how precious life is.
It’s fine one day and walking around downtown.
The next day it’s on a ventilator with a 30 percent chance to live.

I can read all the inspirational sayings.
Listen to all the people tell me life is precious.
See the posters.
Here the words.
Attend the Relay for Life events.
But it doesn’t mean anything until I feel it in my heart.

Call it my skeptical scientific mind.
Call it wisdom though experience.
Just call it me.
But I felt the tears I cried in my heart.
I felt Adam’s pain.
It was my pain.
It was our pain.

You never love your husband more than the moment when you realize you could loose him.
The moment you realize he won’t always be there to kiss you goodbye each morning.
Clean the lint from the dryer because you don’t like the way it feels.
Or just look at you and smile.
The moment when you’re driving home from the hospital, look at him and start crying.
That is the moment you love him the most.
That is the moment when you need him the most.
That is the moment when you can’t imagine life without him.

Those are the moments in life that matter.

Those are the moments in life that change us.

The are the moments when we grow up in an instant.

It doesn’t matter who took out the trash last.
What shoes I wore to the event.
That he never wants to eat anything but Chinese food.

He is there.
That matters.

We didn’t see any fireworks this year.
Despite the events being a summer favorite of mine, I didn’t miss them.
I had him.

We have her.

We are whole.


“…take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white…” May 13, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 4:28 pm

Let’s skip the paragraph about how long it’s been since I’ve blogged.

It’s was a quiet, yet super busy day in the office.
Morning meetings followed by a judges luncheon.
However, because of the double section last week, I have no press deadline tomorrow.
I almost killed myself last week, but that’s all water under the bridge at this point.

Sort of.

This is day two back at the gym.
I took a three-week hiatus.
My knees can tell.
As can my waistline.

It POURED rain yesterday as I left Cox North.
We all know Springfield is renowned for its water drainage technology.
Long story short, my left shoe got soaked crossing Jefferson.

I really like the gym at Cox North.
It’s not as fancy as the Meyer Center.
But what do I need really?
Some cardio and some weights.
It’s also not as crowded as Meyer.
This way only 5 people see me all sweaty and gross as opposed to 50.
I’m OK with that.

Got some good feedback from the public at work today.
That always makes the day better.
Also, I visited the mayor.
So really, Tuesday success.

I’ve recently become addicted to the caramel macchiato at Starbucks.
Grande iced skinny carmel macchiato with light ice, to be exact.
It’s delish.
I have a problem.
I feel like I’m cheating on the MudHouse.
Coffee is a fickle mistress.

My anniversary flowers are stating to pop up.
I sprinkled the seeds April 11.
I’ve got baby sprouts now.

The neighbors cat keeps digging in my garden.
I think he’s the neighbors cat.
Maybe just “the neighborhood cat” would be a better description.
I sprinkled a butt ton of red pepper flakes.
He left it alone.
For about a week.
Mom says moth balls are the trick.
Do they even still sell those?

I’m ready for the iPhone 6 to debut.
The battery life on my 5 is in the crapper.
I charge is at least twice a day now.
For the first time in our lives, we now have our contract timed with the release of new phones.

It’s almost summer.
It was mega hot last week.
I hated it.
Office attire and 90+ degree temps are not friends.
It’s a mild 60s-ish this week.

Adam has taken on a new freelance project.
So far, it’s taken up a couple of his nights.
But, hello goodness.
Send us more.

Spaghetti for dinner.
Because I know Adam likes when I include that info.
Possible garlic bread situation.

You will be happy to know, Adam and I have a moving plan in place.
If all goes well, we should be ready to list our house in about 6 months.
I am BEYOND excited about this news.
As past blogs indicate, this has been a long time coming.

My guy was elected second vice president of the Missouri Ad Manager Association, part of the Missouri Press Association.
This makes me third lady.
You’ve got to start somewhere, Mr. Underwood.

The furbabies are getting fat.
All of them.
The cats eat indoor weight control food.
I’m a poor furmother.

Speaking of which, the girls gave me a pedicure gift certificate for FurMother’s Day.
They said they wanted my paws to look as nice as theirs.
Thanks girls.

It’s graduation season.
I don’t have to cover a single event.
I’m very OK with that.

SBJ event tomorrow night.
And Thursday night.
And half the nights this summer.
I’ve traded time with newly-minted grads for time with Springfield’s business elite.
I’ve OK with that too.

I have four-half empty water bottles on my desk.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a runner.
I just don’t like it.
People love it.
It looks so calm.
And peaceful.
It’s just not my thang.

They opened a new Chinese place by our house.
They deliver.
This could be good.
Or bad.
Depending on my point of view that day.

This coffee should carry me through the gym.
I’ve started watching Angel on the iPad while running/walking/gliding.
Don’t judge.
Buffy was a good show and David Boreanaz is hot.
So, there.

I don’t see the point in snapchat.

Coffee pug.
He likes caramel macchiatos too.
If he drank them that is.
Which he doesn’t.
Because he’s a dog.

Want to share mom? No, Dan, no.

Want to share mom? No, Dan, no.


“…pain throws your heart to the ground, love turns the whole thing around…” December 23, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 4:11 pm

I just finished a week-long marathon reading of the Hunger Gamer trilogy.
It was a brilliant series of books.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
In particular, I can’t stop thinking about Peeta.
For me, he hit close to home.
I wasn’t sure why until this morning.

Adam is my Peeta.

He is my balance.
My equal.
My dandelion.

He loved me before I ever noticed him.
He watched me.
Laughed with me.
Became my friend.
And I fell in love with him.

He is sweet, gentle and kind.
He thinks of my needs before I do, before his own.

It is his voice I look to for help.
His arms I look to for comfort.

I’m headstrong.
Strong willed.
And a pain in the ass.
But he is always there for me.
No matter what.

His kisses make my heart flutter.

While my life is far from that of the Hunger Games, but things happen everyday.
I don’t know how I could live without him.

I hope I never have to find out.

Real or not real?
Heart numbingly real.