accidental existence

Life, one sentence at a time

“…she’s the brightest thing I’ve got, when I’m covered in rain…” September 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — emletterman @ 1:38 pm

Things are moving along in my life.
And at the same time, going nowhere.

Wedding planning is going great.
We have flowers and tuxedos and centerpieces.
We have numerous how-to and do-to-list books on reserve at the library.
We have a planner full of information.
We have love.

I wrote the first part of my vows last night.
Actually I wrote them about a year and a half ago.
Last night I discovered them again.

It’s raining here.
It wasn’t suppose to rain.
it was suppose to be 90 and hot.
We needed it.
The grass was crispy.

Sometimes I feel like everyone around me is in motion and I am standing still.
People are getting promotions, people are getting awards.
I am here.

I don’t know what to do about this.

I have recently become addicted to The West Wing.
It is on the list of my favorite shows ever.
I’m half way through season three.
I could watch an episode right now.

The office is cold today in the rain.
Cold and gray.
It lacks the life it once had.
The laughter.
The jokes.
The friends.
Now it’s just an office.

My legs still hurt today from the elliptical at the Y.
I like the feeling.

I wish I had some Starbucks right now.
I don’t want to spend the time, the money, the points or the energy to go get it.

Our new kitten, Chuck, seems to be settling into the household routine.
She stopped crying all the time.
Now I just have to teach her to stop clawing things.

I’m drinking water.
Ugh.

I made 9 phone calls this morning.
They resulted in not a single interview.
I left 9 messages.

I would like to go home, snuggle up on the couch with Danny and Adam and watch West Wing.

We are suppose to grill bratwurst tonight.
Adam better get out the rain gear.
My dad says real men grill in the snow.

Yesterday was new Post-It note day.
They are lime green.
I’m not sure I like them.
They hurt my eyes a bit and clash with my cute dispenser.
They may have to be changed.

Robert Frost has been on my mind as of late.

“The Road Not Taken.”

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Which road am I taking?
And what kind of difference will it make in my life?

I leave you with this.
Nobody can frown while looking at a pug picture.

Puggy in a raincoat. I know Danny won't leave the house without his.